Update: 'She wanted to talk to me about my “lack of respect for protocol”': Woman quits job after boss demands her first class seat

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 2, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

Traveling for work purposes certainly has its perks and its drawbacks. On the one hand, you get to see new parts of the world, network to expand your business, and get a break from your normal day to day life. On the other hand, you may have to travel with colleagues who you don't necessarily get along with… just like this person, u/scootindog. 

After sharing her story originally to r/AmItheA**hole, the OP added several updates in the following months. You can also check out her replies to questions that commenters asked. In fact, some commenters gave the OP advice on how to confront her boss — by making sure HR knew about it — and she actually did follow their guidance. 

Scroll down to the bottom for the OP's final update. Then, check out another horrible boss story about a dude whose boss keeps calling dozens of times per weekend. 

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  • 01
    Product - WD '...She said she wanted to talk to me about my "lack of respect for protocol". She thinks that because...she is more senior than me, I should've given her the first class seat.' 1616 Mook Air Mon 4:29 PM QⓇ Bookmarks Twest
    via Fallon Michael on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - r/r/BestofRedditor Updates u/LucyAriaRose the Iranian yogurt is not the issue AITA for not giving my boss my first class seat? CONCLUDED I am not the Original Poster. That is u/scootindog. She posted in r/AmItheAs
    via u/scootindog
  • 03
    Font - Original Post: March 2, 2023 Yesterday, my boss and I were flying home from a conference. We were on the same flight, but our original seats were not next to each other. I'm a frequent traveller on this airline and use their credit card, so I often get free upgrades to first class. I got upgraded on this flight and my boss did not. After the flight, when we were collecting our bags she said she wanted to talk to me about my "lack of respect for protocol". She thinks that because the compa
    via u/scootindog
  • 04
    Font - I think this is absolutely insane. While the company paid for my seat, it's my own personal credit card spending, and frequent travel that earned me the upgraded seat. Is this some sort of corporate standard I'm not aware of? AITA?
    via u/scootindog
  • 05
    Font - Relevant Comments: This comment exchange: Commenter: NTA. If you want to cya going forward you can always email HR and ask "X happened while on this trip and Manager Y advised that I should have done Z. Can you point me to where I can review the protocols so I know going forward?" It documents the incident without being accusatory and lets you be able to cite chapter and verse if there's a next time. OOP: This is a really helpful suggestion. Thank you! She has retaliated against other emp
    via u/scootindog
  • 06
    Font - Does HR KNOW she has retaliated? "I know a former coworker mentioned in her exit interview. This former coworker was questioned by our boss about why he had "so many doctors appointments". He reported to HR and then our boss screamed at him." "She's very Buddy Buddy with our HR rep which is what has made me nervous in the past. They seem very willing to believe her over employees."
    via u/scootindog
  • 07
    Font - Does company allow you to pay with miles? "Thank you, yes. Our company lets us use our miles, or personal money, to upgrade the economy tickets they purchase. So, yes, in theory she could've paid with her own money to upgrade. I just happened to get an upgrade because of my status with the airline and their credit card." Is your boss an owner? "It's a large corporation and she is just higher on the food chain than me. She is not an owner." One more about OOP and boss: "Haha I'll satisfy y
    via u/scootindog
  • 08
    Font - Update Post: April 19, 2023 (5 weeks later) Thanks to the many many of you kind Redditors who made me realize 1) I was NTA in this situation and 2) I was in a very toxic work situation. I took the advice many of you gave me and "clarified the policy" with HR. The company, of course, did not have this policy. I also took your advice to get out of that job quickly and am happy to say I'm starting a new job in 3 weeks!
    via u/scootindog
  • 09
    Font - I know the person who will be my supervisor in my new job and she is a very kind, normal person. Pretty nervous to give my notice to the toxic boss on Monday, but oh well, if she's nasty then my 2 weeks notice will just become an immediate resignation. We live in a one-party consent for recording state and plan to record the phone conversation to protect myself. Thanks to all of you for giving me the push to move on!
    via u/scootindog
  • 10
    Font - Relevant Comments: About why OOP can't go scorched earth: "Unfortunately I work in a small field so I need to preserve my reputation" "She knows my new boss so I definitely can't be snarky on my way out! Just trying to do the bare minimum and make my exit gracefully."
    via u/scootindog
  • 11
    Font - Update in Comments: April 27, 2023 Hey there! I haven't updated because it was totally unexciting lol. I resigned over the phone, she seemed surprised and asked a lot of questions about why, and that was that. I kept it very short because I knew any detail I gave would just be an argument. Told her I needed to try something new and wasn't sure the company was the right fit.
    via u/scootindog
  • 12
    Font - Professional-Gear-39 Boss: "I noticed that your lunch looks tastier than mine. You need to trade lunches with me because I'm the boss and should have the nicer meal."
    via u/Professional-Gear-39
  • 13
    Font - Known-Supermarket-68 This was a question on a cultural awareness quiz I did at work recently. The next question asked if you would give your boss your seat on a bus. Apparently 72% of my colleagues would give their boss the plane seat and the bus seat, which was interesting. My company is majority Indian. The quiz was supposed to help us appreciate cultural differences but when you're in the minority for every response, you don't feel very celebrated. You'd have to physically remove me fr
    via u/Known-Supermarket-68
  • 14
    Font - coolcaterpillar 77. There is only OGTHA Sounds like the boss has a history of doing not so great things and given that she's a friend with HR, I'm guessing she knows she can get away with doing whatever she'd like
    via u/coolcaterpillar77
  • 15
    Font - CathedralEngine. Seems like the kind of boss who would give their employees scratch offs for a gift and then expect half the winnings.
    via u/CathedralEngine
  • 16
    Font - krusbaersmarmalad OOP likely couldn't have given her seat to her boss due to the airline saving those perks for valued members, and regulations about sitting in assigned seats.
    via u/krusbaersmarmalad
  • 17
    Font - Meloetta Do they check your ticket in first class or something? My gut says that if they just traded seats no one would care. The only complication would be if the boarding was at different times.
    via u/Meloetta
  • 18
    Font - SoVerySleepy81. I'm glad she got out of there and away from that boss. It is insane to me when these big corporations allow people in lower management to treat their employees like s...
    via u/SoVerySleepy81
  • 19
    Font - Cheerily Terrified Oh God, as someone who manages people I can't imagine trying to get my employees to give me an upgrade they got. I'd be jealous sure, who wouldn't want to get an upgrade but I'd be so mortified if I took it from them because I'm the manager. I'm cringing just thinking about it.
    via u/CheerilyTerrified
  • 20
    Font - Atalyita I travel internationally with my manager once a year. A few years ago the airline surprised me with a unexpected upgrade to business class. My manager said he was jealous but told me to enjoy myself and he wanted to hear all about it.
    via u/Atalyita
  • 21
    Font - Sera0Sparrow Am I the drama? I'm happy to see OOP taking a stand for self and did not give up the seat. I only hoped it was not at the cost of losing a job. But, I wish all the best to OOP and good luck with the job search.
    via u/Sera0Sparrow

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toxic-workplace first class ticket flight toxic-boss airplane toxic-work-environment
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